12 Strategies to Teach Conflict Resolution for Children

Conflict resolution for children needs to be taught and nurtured from an early age. As children navigate their formative years, particularly during middle school, they encounter various social situations that require effective problem-solving abilities. Developing these skills fosters healthy relationships, maintaining a positive school environment, and building lifelong interpersonal competencies.

By equipping children with the tools to address and resolve conflicts constructively, we enhance their academic performance and prepare them for future challenges in their personal and professional lives.

Table Of Contents

1. Calm Down Initially
2. Seek a Solution That Benefits Everyone
3. Use a Random Game like Rock-Paper-Scissors
4. Request Assistance
5. Disregard Minor Annoyances
6. Communicate Clearly and Use I-Statements
7. Use Words That Indicate "No"
8. Share or Alternate
9. Engage in a Different Activity
10. Hear the Other Person Out
11. Empathize with Their Perspective
12. Offer an Apology
Foster Strong Conflict Resolution Skills at UNIS Hanoi

1. Calm Down Initially

When confronted with a conflict, the first and most critical step is to teach children the importance of calming down before attempting to resolve the issue. Children can resolve a conflict with a clearer mind and a more level-headed perspective by taking a moment to regulate their emotions.

Parents and educators can implement conflict resolution activities for children, including breathing exercises such as Hot Cocoa Breathing and Roller Coaster Breathing.

Additionally, simple techniques like counting to twenty and back or taking a short break before addressing the issue can be highly effective in helping children regain their composure.

2. Seek a Solution That Benefits Everyone

Encouraging children to find a solution that works for all parties involved is a valuable approach to conflict resolution for children. This concept, often called a ‘win-win solution’, aims to ensure that both parties feel satisfied with the outcome or, at the very least, can accept the compromise.

To achieve a win-win solution, children should be taught to express their feelings, wants, and hopes openly. This creates an environment where all parties can brainstorm potential solutions together.

If necessary, they can devise a compromise that addresses everyone’s concerns. The ultimate goal is to reach an agreement that all parties can accept and feel comfortable with.

3. Use a Random Game like Rock-Paper-Scissors

Utilising a game of chance, such as Rock-Paper-Scissors, can be a light-hearted yet effective method for resolving minor disputes. This approach particularly appeals to children, as these conflict resolution games for children introduce an element of fun into the process. The premise is simple: the winner of the game gets to decide the outcome or go first, thereby providing a quick and impartial conflict resolution for children.

Other similar methods include a coin toss, rolling dice, or playing odds and evens. These games can diffuse tension, making it easier for children to accept the result and move forward without lingering resentment.

4. Request Assistance

Children should be encouraged to contact an adult if they feel scared or unsafe or witness harm inflicted on others. It’s important to help children distinguish between minor and serious problems.

For instance, someone rolling their eyes is not equivalent to threats of physical violence. Situations involving bullying or safety concerns require immediate adult intervention.

Even for less severe problems, children should be reminded that they don’t have to face challenging situations alone. Knowing they have support can be reassuring, and adults can help them develop effective strategies to address conflicts.

UNIS Hanoi exemplifies a supportive school environment where students from diverse backgrounds learn to work together harmoniously. Our approach promotes understanding, respect, and collaboration among students from various countries and cultures. This multicultural setting provides an ideal backdrop for students to develop and practice conflict resolution for children, preparing them to be global citizens who can navigate complex social situations effectively.

5. Disregard Minor Annoyances

Teaching children to overlook minor irritations can be a powerful tool in conflict resolution for children. While it may be challenging to implement initially, with practice, this strategy can effectively de-escalate conflicts before they intensify.

Encourage children to brainstorm scenarios where this approach would be beneficial. Adding a touch of humour can make the concept more relatable and accessible. For instance:

When a sibling makes peculiar noises at the dinner table, focus on your meal instead. Imagine them impersonating a cartoon character for amusement.
If a friend frequently interrupts, take a deep breath and continue speaking. Visualise them as an enthusiastic robot programmed to share information spontaneously.

Practical strategies for disregarding minor annoyances include taking deep breaths, maintaining focus on the task at hand, refraining from verbal responses, and averting one’s gaze from the source of irritation.

6. Communicate Clearly and Use I-Statements

Clear communication, particularly through I-statements, is a fundamental conflict-resolution skill for individuals of all ages. When teaching conflict resolution children, I-statements provide a method of expression that allows children to articulate their feelings and needs assertively and respectfully without blaming or accusations.

An I-statement typically begins with “I” and describes how a particular situation impacts the speaker. It often includes an expression of the speaker’s desires, needs, or hopes. For instance, saying “I felt embarrassed when you posted that on Instagram” is generally more constructive than “You posted that picture just to embarrass me!”

7. Use Words That Indicate “No”

Children can effectively set and maintain their boundaries by using a strong yet respectful voice to communicate their discomfort with a situation. These conflict resolution strategies for children are beneficial when someone pressures them to do something they don’t want to or when someone is attempting to take something without permission.

Some examples of assertive “no” statements include:

“Stop.”
“I am not okay with that.”
“Not now.”
“Don’t bother.”
“No thanks.”
“No.”

By mastering these phrases, children can communicate their limits and expectations, helping to prevent misunderstandings and potential conflicts.

8. Share or Alternate

Sharing and taking turns involve dividing resources or opportunities fairly among involved parties, ensuring everyone can participate or benefit.

To make this concept more engaging and relatable, consider using creative examples:

Taking turns can be likened to breaks in a marathon or track meet, allowing everyone a chance to catch their breath before the next round.
Picture trying to play catch by yourself, with no one to receive the ball. You’d simply be throwing the ball up and watching it fall, missing out on the fun of interactive play.

9. Engage in a Different Activity

Encouraging children to redirect their focus to a different activity can diffuse potential conflicts. This strategy helps shift attention away from the source of disagreement and towards something more positive and engaging.

Some examples to share with children include:

If two children want to play with the same toy, suggest finding another toy or proposing an activity they can enjoy together, such as building a pillow fort.
If a child feels excluded by siblings, encourage them to engage in solo activities like walking the dog or riding a bicycle.

10. Hear the Other Person Out

Active listening is a crucial skill in conflict resolution for children, not only for children but also for adults. It can be difficult to pause and truly listen to another person’s perspective, especially when hurt or offended.

However, when children practice active listening, they can:

Acknowledge and validate the other person’s emotions
Gain a better understanding of the other person’s viewpoint
Clarify any misunderstandings
Work collaboratively to find a solution that addresses everyone’s needs

Encouraging children to develop this skill can significantly improve their ability to resolve conflicts effectively and build stronger relationships with others.

11. Empathize with Their Perspective

Putting oneself in another’s shoes helps children understand different perspectives, improve communication skills, build positive relationships, and reduce the likelihood of hurtful behaviour.

Encourage children to acknowledge what the other person is saying, even if they don’t fully understand or agree with the other person’s feelings or perspective. Depending on the situation, it may be beneficial for children to discuss the issue with the other person, consciously listening actively without interrupting.

UNIS Hanoi emphasises the development of IB Learner Profiles, which align closely with effective conflict resolution for children. The school nurtures students to become effective communicators who can express themselves confidently and creatively in multiple languages and ways. Students are encouraged to collaborate effectively, listening carefully to the perspectives of others.

Additionally, UNIS Hanoi fosters the development of moral individuals who act with integrity and honesty, demonstrate a strong sense of fairness and justice, and respect the dignity and rights of people everywhere.

12. Offer an Apology

A genuine apology helps children take responsibility for their actions, express remorse, and make amends for any harm they may have caused.

It’s important to note that making a meaningful apology requires practice. There’s a significant difference between saying, “I’m sorry you feel sad” and “I’m sorry that I called you a mean name. What I did was hurtful, and I would like to make it up to you.” The latter acknowledges the specific action, recognises its impact, and desires to make amends.

Foster Strong Conflict Resolution Skills at UNIS Hanoi

Effective conflict resolution for children fosters a harmonious and productive learning environment. UNIS Hanoi exemplifies this commitment through its School Community Organisation (SCO) mission, which enhances supportive partnerships throughout the school community. The SCO acts as a bridge, promoting communication and cooperation among students, parents, faculty, and staff. It aligns with UNIS Hanoi’s core values of positive communication, inclusivity, and appreciation of diversity.

At UNIS Hanoi, we offer an exceptional opportunity for families seeking an educational environment that nurtures these crucial life skills. Contact us today at admissions@unishanoi.org to begin your child’s journey!